Spring Semester 04: After the Fourteenth
English

Your notes are better
than the professor's.
Can I copy page twelve?
You copied page eleven.
And it was excellent.
Full marks to your handwriting.
My handwriting is the only thing in
this college that gets full marks.
Then it gets a prize.
Two on one bench. Very efficient.
Kabir hadn't told anyone about Ishita.
Not even his mother.
The week after the fourteenth,
it ended with one message.
He didn't tell anyone about that either.
Kabir?
Before, two on one bench.
Now, one.
Sir. One minute.
Kabir. Two labs, absent.
When he comes, he sits alone.
Lunch also, alone.
He missed my quiz too.
Has he said anything?
He doesn't say. I see.
Something happened, sir.
I don't know what. But something.
Thank you, Anna. I'll talk to him today.
Come in, Kabir. You're not in trouble.
You missed the quiz,
and Anna says two labs.
Is it some girlfr—
How are you sleeping?
Not much, sir. Two, three hours.
For how long?
Two weeks. Maybe more.
What happens when you lie down?
My head starts. Everything
I should have said.
Everything I did wrong.
So the nights are the worst part.
Hmm.
The quiz you can take on Monday.
That part's easy.
The nights, I think Farah can help with.
Shall we walk over?
Now, sir?
Now. My next hour is free.
Arjun says the nights are bad.
Someone ended things with me, ma'am.
It was only six weeks.
It's stupid to feel like this.
It isn't stupid. What you're
describing sounds like grief.
Grief? Nobody died.
Something that mattered to you ended.
Six weeks or six years,
it can feel like this.
For most people it
eases over a few months.
The middle is the hardest part.
So we get you through the middle.
We start with sleep.
Tonight. And one question to take
home: what did you love doing before
January?
I haven't told anyone, ma'am.
Not even Maa.
You've told two people today.
For one Tuesday, that's a lot.
Kabir! Tonight, two-sixteen.
One drink and you'll
forget her by morning.
Not tonight, bhai.
Arre, what not tonight?
Fine. Sit and be sad.
Bhai. Aloo paratha.
Eat. Then class. I'm walking you.
You're awake at eight?
Joseph sir says I need a routine.
Congratulations. You're my routine.
Ishita ended it.
I know, bhai. I'm sorry.
How did you know?
You stopped eating your mother's laddoos.
That's how.
So what did Farah ma'am ask you?
What I loved doing before January.
And?
Cricket. I used to bowl, before Kota.
A bowler! In C-Block!
Finally, someone to blame for the window.
Anjali, you always have
an answer for this one.
Where does the energy go?
Sorry, ma'am. I didn't hear the question.
Anjali.
Ma'am?
You seem to be carrying something heavy.
You don't have to tell me what.
I'm here.
Thank you, ma'am.
A teacher once stopped me after
class like this, when I was your age.
I've never forgotten it.
Any day after class.
Or Farah's door, if that's easier.
Breakups are common.
In a survey of 8,542 college
students in nine states,
fourteen point six percent named a breakup
as a significant event in the past year.
It wasn't a random sample, but
that is about one student in seven.
A breakup can disrupt sleep
and study for a while.
For most people, it gets better.
In a large German panel study, wellbeing
had largely recovered within about a year.
But in a small Dutch study of people
within six months of a breakup, about one
in four had mild to severe
symptoms of depression.
Their grief is worth taking
seriously, and may need a counsellor.
We don't have trials on what
speeds recovery after a breakup.
The practical advice is to protect sleep,
keep a routine, allow a little academic
flexibility, and keep people close.
Arjun moved a quiz.
Dev brought breakfast.
Kabir told nobody for two weeks.
Anjali had nobody she could tell.
Come in, come in. We're on chai
and complaining about exams.
We were together four years.
Since school.
She's getting married in March.
Her family arranged it.
Nobody here knew. Nobody at home can know.
This is the first time
I've said it out loud.
Thank you for telling us.
Next Thursday, same chai.
You don't have to talk.
You can just come.
Four on one bench. Not efficient.
Sleeping?
Six hours, sir. Seven on Sundays.
Seven! Show-off.
I said I can't catch.
I never said I could bat.
Kabir was sleeping again.
Most nights. The rest would take longer.
Try this week: ask one student,
'How are you sleeping?'
And here is a phrase to keep.
Heartbreak is grief.
Grief needs time, sleep and people.
Support details and sources
are below this video.
See you in week five.