Monsoon Semester 06: The Brave Question
English

This episode talks about suicide.
If it touches something in your own life,
support details are below this video.
He was in class yesterday.
Back row, by the window.
I'm talking to him
today, after the lecture.
Good. What will you say?
I have a plan. Attendance first,
then a timetable, then tutorials.
Five minutes, problem solved.
Problem solved. Whose problem?
His?
Hmm.
Ask him something you don't
already know the answer to.
Like what?
Like how he is.
I know how he is. He's missing labs.
That's what he's doing, Arjun.
Not how he is.
Hmm.
Beta! Khana khaya? You
look thin on this screen.
Haan, Mummy. Kha liya.
The whole mohalla asks about you.
I tell them, our topper is busy!
Hmm. Sab theek hai, Mummy.
I have class.
Go, go. Study well.
We're so proud of you.
That's all for today.
Assignment four is due on Friday.
Kabir! Kabir, one minute?
What follows is a role-play, in two takes.
Take one.
Kabir, you've missed three labs.
You know the rule. Below seventy-five
percent, you can't sit the end-sem.
Sorry, sir.
Look, first year is hard.
I know. But at least you got in, na?
Lakhs of students would
give anything for your seat.
Ji, sir.
Sir, it's just... thodi tension hai.
Everyone has tension!
You're a bright boy.
You'll be fine.
So. Make up the labs on Saturday.
Join the tutorial group.
I'll send you my notes.
And no phone after eleven, okay?
Okay, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Great! Saturday, then.
Let's pause here.
Farah? That went fine, no?
He said thank you.
He said 'thank you, sir' the way
people do when they want to leave.
In under a minute, you gave him a rule,
an 'at least', a 'you'll be fine',
and four solutions.
I was trying to help.
I know. You were kind.
But you never found out what was wrong.
He told you, once. 'Thodi tension
hai.' And you walked right past it.
I did.
Let's rewind. This time, a private
room, and time you've protected.
Ask an open question.
Say back what you hear.
And when it goes quiet, let it stay quiet.
What's an open question?
One he can't answer with 'fine'.
Not 'Are you okay?' More
like, 'How have things been?'
And 'say back what you hear'?
Like a parrot?
Like someone who was listening.
A few words. His words, not yours.
And if I panic?
Then panic quietly.
And if he says something... serious?
Then ask him directly.
In plain words. Asking won't
put the idea in his head.
And if he says yes?
Then you thank him.
You stay calm. And you bring him to me.
You don't have to fix it.
Just don't leave him alone with it.
Say it to me. The question.
Sometimes when people feel this low...
they...
I can't even say it to you.
Slowly. You can.
Sometimes when people feel this low,
they think about ending their life.
Has that been on your mind?
That's it. Calm and plain.
Now go and listen.
Take two.
Kabir. Do you have some time?
Come to my office. You're not in trouble.
Now, sir?
Now. My next hour is free.
Sit. There's water, if you want.
And there's no rush.
I've missed you in lab.
How have things been... really?
Theek hai, sir. Bas... tension.
Tension.
What's the tension like?
I can't sleep, sir.
My head aches all the time.
I open the books and...
mann nahi lagta.
You can't sleep. Your head aches.
And nothing feels interesting any more.
Hmm.
In class I understand half, sir.
By the time I translate it
in my head, you've moved on.
So you're working twice
as hard, just to keep up.
Hmm.
My parents took a loan, sir.
For this college.
Mummy tells everyone I'm the topper.
Here, I'm not even average.
So you're carrying their hopes.
And it feels like you're
letting them down.
Every call, I tell Mummy
everything is fine.
And it isn't.
No.
Sometimes I feel like...
I'm just a burden. On them.
On everyone.
That sounds like a lot
to carry on your own.
Kabir, can I ask you something directly?
Sometimes when people feel this low,
they think about ending their life.
Has that been on your mind?
Sometimes. The thought
has crossed my mind.
Thank you for telling me.
I know that wasn't easy to say.
You won't tell anyone, na, sir?
I can't keep this a secret, Kabir.
Your safety matters too much.
But I'll only tell people who can help.
And I'll be right there with you.
There's someone I trust.
Farah, at the Wellness Centre.
Shall we go and see her together?
Right now?
Together?
Together.
Okay.
It's strange, sir. I
feel a little lighter.
Just from saying it.
I'm glad. Come, let's go.
Many teachers worry that asking
about suicide might put the idea in a
student's head.
Reviews of the research,
in 2014 and again in
2022, found that it does not.
The evidence suggests that
being asked can bring relief.
In the first take, Arjun
lectured, reassured and fixed.
In the second, he asked, and listened.
Ask open questions.
Reflect back what you hear.
Understand before you try to solve.
And avoid anything that
starts with 'at least'.
Students may describe
distress in other words.
Headaches. Not sleeping.
'Tension.' Or, mann nahi lagta:
I can't feel interested in
anything.
Kabir said all four.
And one rule to hold on to.
Never promise to keep a secret
when someone's safety is at risk.
Arjun didn't promise.
He was honest, and he stayed.
Sir... the labs?
The labs can wait. Today is about you.
Same corridor. Same student.
A different conversation.
Try this week: say the direct question
out loud with a colleague, until you
can ask it calmly.
And here is a phrase to keep.
Sometimes when people feel this low,
they think about ending their life.
Has that been on your mind?
This episode talked about suicide.
If it touched something in your own
life, please talk to someone you trust.
Support details and sources
are below this video.
See you in week seven.